“i have what i have and i am happy i’ve lost what i’ve lost and i am still happy – outlook”
― Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey

There are some people that put their everything into everything without fear.

I am one of those people.

No matter how many times something happens, I always look as to what I could’ve done better to try to change me. Even if I have done nothing wrong and the event was unpreventable. It is not always my fault, but there was something about me that if I can make better, it shouldn’t happen again.

This has allowed me to love every single significant other with a different kind of love. This has allowed me to create different friendships with different people. Each time after learning a lesson about myself and how to improve me, I apply that to my new everything.

Some people think I am crazy.

Some people will swear off men because a few broke their heart. They swear that they are all the same and doom the next person that tries to show them differently. Some people will never form another friendship even after it has been years since the last person taught them not to trust. (This, I understand)

However, I look at it all a little differently.

I look at how I was allowing the individual to treat me and change to not allow it again.

Because of this, some people have not gotten into the door with me. Others, who have seemed nice in the beginning, that later showed their true colors have also been easier to let go.

I don’t hurt as much, because I know better than that.

Not because I’m shutting people out, but because I’m learning from my past.

And when you have proven that you are someone different, I will give everything I have into the relationship. Whether it ends well or not.

That’s just the type of person that I am. What’s the point of starting something if you aren’t going to give it your all? Seems like a waste of time.

So don’t blame yourself for everything.

Learn from it, and then grow. You’ll be surprised to find out that the things you change about yourself will naturally help you filter out things so that they don’t repeat themselves.