Who are you?

What am I doing? I have not a lick of clue. I think I want to do something with my life but then there’s this little voice in the back of my head telling me, “That’s not really what you want to do, and you know it.” It happened when I chose my major..the first time. It happened when I changed it again last semester. It happened when I took the job at Chuck E. Cheese. It even happened when I took the job at Chipotle, even though I thought it was my dream job.

You see there was always this little pang that I was doing something wrong. I wasn’t staying true to myself and my heart knew it. I was doing things I thought I had to do, if I wanted to succeed in life. I gave up on any type of art school, because I thought no school would have both the major I wanted and softball. I gave up on trying to find a job that was actually worth my time the first time, (I’m looking at you Chuck E.), because I needed the money. There were all these things that I was doing because I thought I had to. I couldn’t possibly have what I truly wanted because life is full of sacrifices. Even if what you are sacrificing is yourself.

I have the ability to change all that.

A little background of myself is that I love houses. I will spend an entire day just walking or driving around to look at them. I like the yards, and how the owner ties them in with the front of the house. You can tell a lot about the type of person who lives there, even if you’ve never seen them before. I love walking into other people’s houses and noticing their chosen color scheme and furniture. What kind of style do they like? Modern? Eclectic? Maybe even more of a farm comfy home feel. I love seeing how rooms tie together and making not so great rooms reach their full potential. I watch endless amounts of HGTV and can pretty much guess which show is probably on just by the day of the week.

I ignored this passion for five years.

Why? Honestly it was because of my other passion. My love for the game. I didn’t want to attend any school that I couldn’t play softball. I had to choose one passion over the other. However, now that dream has come and gone and I still don’t know what I am doing. Why I keep ignoring what I have been trying to tell myself to do for years. So about a week ago I finally listened. I am going to get my associate’s in interior design.

I. Am. Ecstatic.

You see what people fail to do is choose careers that accurately describe who they are. They can’t get passionate about something because they really don’t care for it. I don’t want to be one of those people that hate what they do and try to save up funds to go to school later. I want to act now, and stay true to myself.

It is never too late to listen to that voice. The one that’s telling you to listen to your heart. It’s not talking about love sweetie, it’s talking about your life. It wants you to take charge and do what you’ve always wanted to do. The best things in life have a reflection of your heart and passion in them. Never let any person, place, or thing, take that away.