There are so many changes that I want to make.

The only problem being is that those changes are still in my head. What makes it worse is that I can actually see the results of those changes in my head as well.

I just can’t make myself get shit done.

There is this vicious cycle where I think of a great idea, I envision how my life would be better, and then I don’t act on those changes, and then I hate myself.

Maybe it’s because I am sincerely scared about the possibilities, or failure, or things just not working out how I thought.

Everyone always talks about how great it is to have goals and dreams, but no one really talks about how to start taking the steps to achieve them.

I feel as if with every single idea I have, there is a particular step that I am supposed to take to start it. But I’m really not sure what that is! I can google it all day long, but I am the type of person that needs clear instructions or I give up.

And then I hate myself for giving up because I’m not a quitter. Then the cycle continues.

I want to do yoga, eat healthier, start going to therapy, open up my own coffee shop, blog more, and a lot of other things. But I also don’t want to waste my time. I don’t want to spend years going down the wrong road, just to realize that I have to start all the way over.

Just thinking about it gives me anxiety.

 

But I want to take a step in the right direction. Tomorrow starts another semester of school, another week of work, and another set of chances I have to make my life the life I want it to be. With that being said, tomorrow morning I will start with one simple thing; a walk. I will start going on a daily walk everyday to start my day with a clear head.

I will try to update my instagram on how its doing.

I don’t want to write a blog post of myself complaining, but it seems like this whole post went that way, and for that, I apologize.